World Cup 2010: Day Fourteen

Paraguay 0-0 New Zealand

New Zealand's plan was pretty clearly to put the game on lockdown and try to nick a goal late, which was virtually the only way they were going through (a draw would only have helped in the event of an Italy draw, but Italy would have gone through on goals scored in that event). And it almost worked, except for the fact that New Zealand have no offense whatsoever, managing just four shots in the game and none on target. They exit the World Cup without a loss, the first team to do so since Belgium in 1998 (which was also the last year that a team managed to progress without winning a game). The Kiwis can hold their heads high; as the 78th-ranked team in the world, nothing was expected out of them, and yet they didn't lose a game and didn't finish last in their group.

Slovakia 3-2 Italy

No, that honor belonged to the Italians. The defending champs bowed out, not in as ignominious a manner as the French in 2002 - at least Italy scored a few times - but in pretty ugly fashion. The Italians had not given up three goals in a World Cup match since losing 4-1 to Brazil in the 1970 final; three goals matched their high allowed in an entire group stage since 1986. The defense was never all there for them, and while Fabio Quagliarella chipped in what would probably be the goal of the tournament so far if not for Maicon's physics-defying strike against North Korea, the offense was clearly lacking overall. All they needed was to beat New Zealand, for crying out loud. Instead, they're going home.

Netherlands 2-1 Cameroon

Whatever. This was a friendly.

Japan 3-1 Denmark

A fairly shocking result, as the Japanese had shown very little inclination to score goals prior to this point in the tournament. Keisuke Honda and Yasuhito Endo both struck from free kicks, the first time since Yugoslavia drubbed Zaire 9-0 in 1974 that one team had put in two free kick goals in the same match, and Denmark were just lost. Even the goal they grabbed back came on a penalty kick - and even then, it was on the rebound of the kick, which had been saved at first. Paraguay had better not sleep on Japan; it suddenly looks like they can make some noise.

Tomorrow! The shocking conclusion to Group G. Will Ivory Coast stay alive? (No.) Will Brazil and Portugal really care who wins their game? (Doubtful.) Will all the North Koreans defect after the game to avoid execution? (Maybe.) Plus, the legitimately interesting finish to Group H, which will most likely see Spain either go out or top the group. We're due for an awesome round of 16 match between either Brazil and Spain (top two teams in the world) or Spain and Portugal (2 and 3 teams, plus Iberian neighbors). With all due respect to Switzerland, I think I'd prefer it if they didn't deny us that.